Esther Nobuhle

I’m going to be honest with you all. When the New Year officially started, as in when the New Year countdown and the celebrations started, I was fast asleep. Didn’t even hear the neighbors doing their own countdown. I usually stay up with my family and dance to music, or we go to church for the crossover service. But 31 December 2022 was different. I could blame it on the absence of fireworks, or the fact that our electricity was cut off an hour or two before midnight. Truth is, though, I was in a terrible mood. It had been a long day at work (yes, some of us were working on New Year’s Eve) and it put me in a completely dark mood. I got home, had my dinner, and went straight to bed. The next morning wasn’t any better. The New Year messages from family and friends only made me angrier because I didn’t understand why everyone was so excited. There was literally nothing new except the date. Safe to say, I wasn’t ready to face the music.

Do you want to know something about life though? It gives you a huge smack upside the head for being an angry person and makes you put your feelings in check and figure out why you’re angry instead of lashing out at everyone. After a long talk with a friend, I settled into a better state of mind. I realised a lot of things that I had been doing completely wrong; giving people way too much access to my life, time, and care, focusing so much on the disappointments and my flaws while ignoring the good. Among other things. I was not loving myself enough, I was being too hard on myself and I wasn’t stopping to actually to my needs and my wants. As a result, when the new year came around, I wasn’t ready for it because I thought I was going to feel the change, rather than initiate it myself.

I know there’s someone else out there like me. The change is within you. Do you hear me? Change of year means nothing if you’re not moving with it and changing yourself too. This all sounds very cliché, and you’ve probably heard it before, but that’s because it’s important and you need to start listening to it. Let it be your wake-up call, as it was mine. You are capable. You just need to take one tiny step. That’s it.

Love and light to you and yours. Happy New Year, people.